SERIOUSLY?!?!

“SERIOUSLY?!?!”

I usually try not to get too involved in the stupid things that go on outside my family. Believe me, I cause enough idiocracy to deal with on a daily basis to keep us all busy.

But sometimes in a man’s life there comes a time when something must be done. A time when he must stand up and say what needs to be said, a time when letting bygones be bygones is no longer an option…a time when people are just plain ridiculous.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you “SERIOUSLY?!?!” The article dedicated to exploiting all the things people do or say that make you say, “Seriously?!?” I must admit the idea is stolen from a Saturday Night Live skit done during “Weekend Update” called “Really?!?!” by comedic genius and my idol Amy Polar and buzz kill Seth Myers. Thank you to my muse.

First up, Albert Haynesworth. Now, in his interview on ESPN recently I gotta admit he seems like a pretty nice guy; all-be-it not that bright (nobody let him see this, he’s really big). I mean seriously Albert, you’re telling me you had a $21 million dollar, signed, real check- not one of those monster checks Jackie Moon tried to give that dirty hippy in “Semi Pro”- and you didn’t cash it for two weeks! Seriously, if $21 million is that insignificant to you give it to someone who needs it. Maybe a charity like the keep diapers on Jeff’s daughter fund, we’ve got t-shirts.

Next on my list, Tiki Barber. Dude, Seriously! If you bash one more person in New York out of your jealous rage I’m going to send Albert Haynesworth to smack you around a little bit. First it was Eli Manning, who by the way went on to win a Super Bowl with a great defense that did not need you in any way, shape or form. Then it’s Tom Coughlin who after your comments went out and rallied his team to a convincing win over the Chicago Bears. Just keep your mouth shut Tiki. A.) nobody cares what your opinion is and B.) I know it’s upsetting that you miss out on everything, but you have to let it go.

The NFL and its owners want to move to an 18 game season next year. Seriously?!?! Did you miss the first week of the season? Concussions by the handful not to mention all the other injuries season-ending or otherwise. Matt Stafford was knocked out hurting his shoulder, Leonard Weaver out for the season; I could go on and on. The bottom line is a longer regular season equals more money in the pockets of greedy owners and shorter careers for player. Look at Adrian Peterson; he’s on schedule to surpass 350 carries this year alone. Add two more regular season games to that and he’s into the mid 400’s. Peterson is one of the most exciting players to watch and you will be depriving so many fans-in-waiting of watching such an amazing athlete. I for one am disgusted by the greed and indifference towards the players that the NFL has shown.

Last but not least my biggest issue of the day. Really it has been my biggest issue since logging into my NFL.com account. I am so sick a tired of all these guys who get on the website’s chat lines and bash the fantasy analysts every week. One guy, who’s screen name will remain nameless said, “Fabiano ain’t got s*!t on me! He’s a joke.” Seriously?!?! You have to be kidding me. Is it that serious or are you just upset because week one he told you to start Steve Smith of the Panthers and now your crying because your in last place. This is the most annoying part of fantasy football. A bunch of jackasses with ego’s the size of  the Meadowlands win a few fantasy games and all the sudden they think they are some kind of NFL analyst. You’re a dueschbag is what you are, sir. You have to realize that Michael Fabiano and his guys don’t see the game the way we do. They get an inside look at things. When they talk about Randy Moss it’s because they actually talked to Randy Moss. And since your comments are coming in at about 2:00 in the afternoon I’m guessing your unemployed sitting at home light years away from even screaming at Randy Moss from 60 rows up. These analysts see the game through a different pair of glasses. It’s something we cannot understand. Give it a rest and let them continue to do what they get paid to do. And you can get back to what you get paid…oh wait, sorry.