Three Days & Still No Job Offer...What's Up NFL Network???

Hello Mr. Fabiano, I’m Waiting…
Ya know, I’m a simple guy. On my days off from work at the hospital (don’t get it twisted, I’m 99.9% sure I make way less than you do working 40 hours at Target) wake up and go get my beautiful baby daughter out of her crib. I fill her pink sippy cup with milk, make her some scrambled eggs and turn on Shrek 2. If anyone is interested I can recite it word for word because my daughter is obsessed with Shrek 2. I have no idea where she gets her obsessive personality from…But I digress.
After we eat breakfast- about at the point where Shrek, Donkey, and Puss-n-Boots cause all sorts of crazy shenanigans in the Fairy Godmother’s Potion Plant- I sit down at my computer desk with Payton in my lap. We check mail, see how many of my trade offers were rejected and check the news on my favorite sports site, NFL.com (ahem…plug). But just over 72 hours ago I threw my proverbial wrench in the chain that is my routine, I started this blog.
Three days…THREE DAYS…and nothing. Not so much as a request to stop using Michael Fabiano’s name (dude, I want your job, seriously). I mean, I’m not one to brag but this is journalistic gold you’re witnessing here. I mean, if NFL Network is Miami, I could be your Lebron. But you have to let me be your Lebron. I don’t think I’m asking to much.
I don’t want endorsements, I don’t want a $21 million check, although I would have the courtesy to cash it at the first 5/3^rd Branch I passed. Really Albert, $21 million not that important to ya? I don’t want my own cereal, Ochocinco taught us all the moral to that story- If it ain’t Wheaties don’t put your face on it. I just want my place on the illustrious list of NFL.com experts and analysts. Oh, and I’de be satisfied with $1 million.
In case NFL Network chooses not to pick this diamond out of the rough, I am also excepting jobs with “The Blitz,” along side Boomer and Tom Jackson, a recurring guest spot in Jim Rome’s Forum, “SportsNation” with the blond guy and the hot chick (oops…I mean pretty young lady) or I will accept a job as Deon Sanders’ personal assistant. PRIME TIME! But my favorite job aside from working with Fabiano and company of NFL.com and NFL Network would be to work with my favorite football insider of all time, ESPN’s John Clayton, who I’m a little shocked that yet again, did not appear on People Magazines “Sexiest People List.” Much love for ya John!
So come on NFL Network, give a new guy a shot. Seriously we’re coming up on day four. Do you really want to look back and say, “What if…”
　
　
　
　
***Hello, my name is sarcasm, nice to meet you. You will be seeing lots of me hangin’ around here so please, for both of us, except that I will be around and avoid sending any stupid comments about how I’m selfish, or an idiot, because we both know it’s just because your ugly.